Don’t forget these tips, when having a sensitive conversation

Man and woman having a seemingly challenging conversation

By Chiara Breedijk

Imagine this: you're gearing up to chat with a colleague about a sensitive issue, and the apprehension is building. We've all had those moments, and even I have faced the challenge of asserting myself in the most nerve-racking way possible. You can feel the nervousness building as you wonder, "What kind of response am I going to get from the person across the table?" Or perhaps you're pondering, "Could I have mixed things up a bit and handled it differently?". Whether you're discussing resignations or flexing your boundary-setting muscles, these conversations hold the key to challenging conversations. In our quest to make your conversations be as smooth as possible, we've drafted some (bonus) tips to ensure you're well-prepared and ready to rock the conversation! Get ready to embark on an exciting space learning journey!🚀

1. Invite and ask: The feeling of choice is important

Start by inviting them to talk and ask if they are willing to engage in a conversation about a sensitive issue or problem. Providing them with the feeling of choice empowers them and sets a positive tone before the conversation. If someone doesn’t feel comfortable, it can happen that the goal of your conversation won’t be achieved.

2. Slow down and don’t dive in right away 🐌

Before diving into the sensitive topic, let the person in front of you know what they can expect from the conversation. Provide an overview of why they are here and what you plan to discuss. This helps to create a sense of clarity and reduces anxiety about the unknown. What is the background? Start by providing some background context. Explain why this discussion is necessary and what led to it. This approach helps the other person see the bigger picture and the relevance of the topic.

3. Compliments are welcome and underrated

In challenging conversations, compliments and positive feedback can still be given. Compliments can help ease tension and create a more positive atmosphere. Just be sure they are genuine and relevant to the discussion.

4. Listen carefully and summarize

There will be a moment where it is your time to listen. Listening carefully is a cornerstone of effective communication. Pay close attention to what the other person is saying without interrupting. I feel that it always helps to summarize their points, and ask if you're understanding correctly.This shows that you value their perspective, that you listened carefully and that you are committed to understanding their viewpoint.

5. Embrace silence

Hearing the silence can be a powerful tool in sensitive conversations. Don't rush to fill every moment with words. Allow moments of silence to give both you and the other person time to process thoughts and emotions. It can also encourage them to share more deeply or think clearly and not go into assumptions right away.

6. Seeking confirmation

Picture this: You're in the midst of a conversation about a sensitive topic. Avoid the assumption trap by posing open-ended questions that can provide greater clarity. Refrain from making assumptions, as doing so can lead to irritation and confusion for those you are conversing with. Assumptions are like a space rocket crashing, something you would want to avoid.

7. Offer support, but respect boundaries

Offer support at the end of the conversation. While it's important to support the other person, remember that their emotional process is their own. Offer help where you can, but respect their boundaries and decisions. For example, in unfortunate and emotionally charged situations like someone being laid off, you can offer to write a recommendation letter, but you wouldn't offer to find them a new job. As thoughtful as that is, there is a limit. It's essential to strike a balance between being there for them and not imposing your solutions or opinions.

8. Allow space for emotions and show empathy

Did you know that only 40% of business leaders exhibit proficient or strong empathy skills? Sensitive topics often evoke strong emotions. It's essential to let these emotions surface without judgment or interruption during the conversation. Offer a safe space for the other person to express their feelings. Sometimes, simply acknowledging their emotions can help them feel heard and understood. Is it appropriate to give someone a hug, cry with them, offer a glass of water or tissue? Read the room.

Addressing your boundaries, expressing your opinions, or discussing specific topics can be challenging. While these tips can certainly guide you in initiating a conversation on the right foot, it's important to acknowledge that it may not always be a straightforward task. In addition to following these guidelines, the key element that truly matters is carefully listening and the ability to trust yourself.