Failure allowed: Why we need to embrace mistakes (and how to do this effectively)
By Kamal Nicholas
You probably know the feeling too well. Something goes wrong, a mistake happens, and instinctively you feel this short moment of panic. In a reflex, you might ask yourself: “Who’s to blame, and how can I minimize my damage?” Interestingly, we’re commonly more concerned about our image and the possible consequences than with the actual cause of the error. But this is exactly where the problem lies: if we see mistakes as a threat rather than an opportunity, we lose valuable potential to learn and improve together.
The bitter reality: the fear of openly admitting mistakes often wins. We want to appear perfect, not show any weakness, because in many companies the mantra still applies: mistakes are a sign of incompetence. But beware: this attitude is not only wrong, it is dangerous.
But why do we need an open error culture at all? Quite simply, because we can only learn, grow and improve through mistakes. Sounds trivial, but is rarely implemented consistently in practice. Let’s take an everyday example, like walking. I’m pretty sure that no one ever simply stood up after being done with crawling, to start running through your home. Nope, it most likely took many attempts, often leading to falling down, maybe even hurting yourself, getting up, trying again, learning and then mastering something that seems now ridiculously easy today.
What happens when mistakes are covered up?
I remember a situation at a former workplace where a colleague made a critical mistake and did everything to cover it up. Instead of addressing the matter openly, he made up excuses, was looking for someone else to blame and withheld information. The result: the damage grew, the mood in the team became suspicious, and the colleague finally ended up worse off than before. No one had learned anything from this, and trust within the team was damaged. This example clearly shows what happens when companies do not openly address mistakes: Fear arises, communication suffers, and productivity may even drop dramatically.
From mistake to opportunity – personal experiences
Not so long ago, I made a mistake myself that taught me a big lesson: one of our now former clients was dissatisfied and wanted to get out of our contract early. Although the contract still had two months to run, after a few agonizing calls I spontaneously agreed whilst in a meeting with him – mainly because I didn't feel like having any more discussions. It quickly became clear that this was not the right decision.
In retrospect, what I should have done was to make it clear that, while I saw his point of view, I would not simply give in to his demands, but would discuss a decision internally first. After talking to my boss, we found a (for us) okayish compromise, but I wasn’t able to correct my mistake fully, which in the end cost us money. The insight I gained from this is immensely valuable: addressing mistakes openly, reflecting on them and finding constructive solutions together makes us stronger, better and helps us to be more self-confident. Afterward, I consciously shared this experience with the team, through which the younger colleagues in particular were able to benefit from.
The insight behind a failure
One thing has become very clear to me in my career: every experience – especially the painful ones – holds enormous learning potential. Mistakes show us how things don't work or things we might not yet be capable of. This is not only OK, it is often the key to real improvement. Covering up, on the other hand, almost always makes the problem worse.
A key personal experience for me was my dismissal from a previous employer. Initially, I was convinced it was due to my incompetence. But in hindsight, I understood that completely different factors had played a role. And I only learned this by sharing this experience with people I hold dear in my professional and in my personal life. This realization was liberating: not every difficult situation or failure is the result of personal failure. The important thing is to deal with it openly and learn from it.
Why do we find it so difficult to speak about mistakes?
According to the AXA Support Report (May 2024), one in four Germans state that they are often afraid to openly admit mistakes at work – among those under 25, the figure is even as high as 44%. Want more disconcerting figures? The EY “Error Culture Report” (2023) also shows that 64% of managers have not or only partially admitted their own mistakes in the past two years - in the financial sector, the figure is as high as 82%.
So, how does an open error culture work in practice? There are a few things you can start doing today:
Leading by example: Managers must speak openly about their own mistakes and show that failure is allowed.
Strengthen trust: Create a climate of trust in which nobody has to be afraid of consequences if something goes wrong.
Establish concrete rituals: A regular “fail meeting” or “fuck-up Friday”, where teams talk openly about mistakes, can help to normalize failure as part of everyday working life.
Adapt consequences: Mistakes should not automatically have negative consequences, as long as they are communicated openly and used as a learning opportunity.
Time to appreciate mistakes
Failure is a fundamental part of life – this of course includes work. It is up to us to create a culture in which mistakes no longer cause fear and panic, but are perceived as valuable learning and development opportunities. If we implement this consistently, there will be room for genuine innovation, constructive exchange and long-term success – both personally and professionally.
Talking about true appreciation: If you’re interested in how this looks like, check out our blog post “Beyond empty phrases: What true appreciation means”